The English word, anxiety, a state of uneasiness, apprehension and uncertainty, comes from a Latin word meaning narrowing down. When you narrow down your consciousness you get the mind. When you narrow down the infinite you get the body.
You are infinite becoming finite with your birth in this reality. Narrowing down your infiniteness you experience pain and anxiety. When you die unconsciously you narrow down your consciousness and experience the same process of pain and anxiety. So life is an experience between two pains and two anxieties. By expanding your consciousness to the point of attaining awareness, you liberate yourself from pain and anxiety.
Now, let’s go deeper. You live in this world not to fulfil a certain destiny but to fulfil a certain desire, but the desires are basically unfulfillable, because a desire arises in the mind. When the mind get satisfied with one desire another comes. Desires are non-existential, and they cannot be fulfilled because they are always moving into the future. When you consciously realize that desires can never be here and now, and that you don’t need to desire anything in order to be who you are naturaly and existentialy, then you need not to be narrowed down, and you need not to be born again. Consciousness and desire cannot exist together. When you are conscious, desire is not present. Without the future, past is death. Without time, the mind is nothing.
A desire arises in the mind. It is a thought of wanting to possess. The thoughts have no primary source, they are not firmly established in existence, settled in wholeness, so they wander just like clouds. In the interval which separates two desires a consciousness reigns in the emptiness of the mind. It is at this interval that you are freed from all thought, fear, enxiety, all mental trafic.
Buddha says: ‘Life should be based on needs, not on desires.’ In this reality you need food, you need a shelter, you need clothes, you need love, you need to sleep and rest. Needs can satisfy your consciousness; desires are basically unconscious unsatisfactions, creating complexity, difficulty and anxiety in life because they can never satisfy, they can never bring the consciousness to realization.
By feeling anxious you are in fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation impairing spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological functioning. That is the reason why the mind is desperately trying to control accidental through desiring more. The dog is chasing his or her tail.
Existential is always now, it is truth. Accidential is that which is mementary, coming and going, it is untrue. In accidental reality failure is inevitable. The mind cannot control existential because the mind is ignorant. If you fail in your expectations, your ego will be hurt, and you will feel disappointed. If you succeed, the ego will be big, desiring, expecting and controlling more, but causing excessive demand and additional burden on the consciousness. In consciousness the smallest thought, the most subtle thought leads to desire. Even the tiniest thought becomes an obstruction to the existence, narrowing down the consciousness, and creating the accidental life.
The mind is afraid of existential life, because the mind is accidental, the result of narrowing down of consciousness.
Existential life is uncertain and insecure, and the mind is not at ease with it, because it never knows what is going to happen next, so it makes detailed diagrams or plans for its accidental security, being attached to the past and in fantasizing the future.
The mind planning is done through compare and contrast, but the doubts and fears interfere. ‘Will I ever succeed? What will happen if I don’t?’ The whole mind game is perpetual. The moment you start to control, expect and plan, the frustration follows and anxiety takes hold of you.
Contemplate this. Just recently someone came to me and complained about being frustrated after practicing one of my meditation techniques. ‘What do you expect to gain from meditation?’ I asked.
‘Enlightenment. What else?’ he said
He was not interested in meditation at all. He was interested in possessiveness. It is useless to desire and expect enlightenment to possess, because enlightenment is a state of your being. How can you desire and possess your being?
‘Your ego is the problem. Can you see it? You are trying to fulfil your ego, and you are forgetting your meditation,’ I said.
‘I am a humble man, I don’t have an ego,’ he replied with a very angry voice.
‘Can you see it, ‘I’ is there? Your ‘I’ is hiding behind humbleness. Real humbleness means you are conscious, the ego is non-existential, and with that consciousness, there is no ‘you’ who will claim the humbleness. And, by the way, in humbleness there is no anger’ I said.
If you are not conscious of your ego, your meditation will have a goal, and you will start to move in the wrong direction. The proper direction is to be conscious that the ego is obstructing the meditation.
If you can see your ego you will come to realize that it doesn’t exist. It is just a shadow of your unconsciousness. Ego is an absence of your consciousness. Ego is your enxiety. We are not in witnessing, we don’t know who we are, and because of that we become anxious, the ego exists. It is like the clouds covering the infinite sky. When you become conscious of your mind, what to do then? Nothing! In consciousness there is no-mind. If there is no mind, where is the ego. If there is no ego, where is the anxiety. Do you see the point?
Ego creates anxiety, because ego is anxiety. People make a plan in order to be free from anxiety, but the plan in itself is ego expectation which creates more anxiety. If there is no expectation, there will be no frustration.
With the ego you feel certain certainty, but without it, you feel uncertain. The point is, without the mind there is no ego, and without ego there is no ’I.’ In that state of uncertainty, something certain will happen, and the deeper layers of the unknown will be revealed to you.
You are as you are. You are always unknown, but the mind deceives you through its ego, giving you a mistaken impression that you know who you are.
Your One Self is neither you nor the other. What you call ‘I’ is not One Self. ‘I’ is the mind’s peremptory request on existence. When someone calls you ‘you’, that person is not addressing your real One Self. That person has imposed a label on real you. Any label is inaccurate and restrictive, a superficial acknowledgement of you as an object. When all the objects and their labels are taken away, the One Self remains. The truth is One Self is as much yours as it is another’s. So to ask the question, ‘Who am I” is the search for the true you beyond the mind and its ego.
To keep attention on the existential question you need courage, because you have to open yourself; you have to reveal a deep wound in your being, and that can be very, very scary. That is the reason for the conclusion, ‘I am. All questions asked from your conclusions are nonsense questions, because ‘I’ has already provided answers. All provide answers are nothing else then a deception, acover up, an attempt, whether successful or not, to hide the anxiety.
The mind is very cunning. It will ask all kinds of questions just to survive. So many people have asked me non-sense questions like, ‘Does God exist? Where does the soul go after the death? Is there suffering in heaven? Is liberation a fact or fiction? Is the soul immortal or not? Do we survive our bodily death or do we get annihilated? Do we reincarnate, or is the principle of reincarnation false?’ That is sheer nonsense. The mind asks all kinds of foolish questions, and the mind finds all kinds of unintelligible or meaningless answers, just to survive. Any questions raised by the mind serves no useful purpose as any answers found by the mind. The mind is completely ineffective dealing with the unknown truth.
The mind can never ask: ‘Who am I? What am I?’ The real question can only come from consciousness.
Each one of us is engaged in two types of journeys, one is the outside journey, and the other journey is within. The journey to find an answer by the mind is outward, not inward. Remember this. When the search is in the outer world, it leads to lies. When the search is in the inner world, it leads to truth.
When you want to obtain your liberation with your mind, it is really a kind of greed, ‘I want to be enlightened.’ Greed cannot liberate you. The mind ambition cannot destroy its own ego. Perhaps it is the greatest ambition to be liberated, to find love, truth, nirvana, but wherever there is desire and ambition, you are in the state of being a slave to the mind. Ambition is the ignorance, not being who you are naturally and existentially right where you are, Now.
Ignorance is nothing else than forgetfulness, your separation, and a deep unconscious state. Ignorance is not being who you are naturally and existentially. It is your identification with the mind’s ideas that you cannot be.
When you get involved in thinking, you become one with it, you become identified. Identified with the mind, you are in ignorance. Unidentified with the thoughts, you are moving towards your witnessing.
Practice this meditation method of elimination: ‘Whatever I see and experience, it’s not me and not the truth.’ You experience the world, you are not the world, and the world is not the truth. You experience the body, you are not the body, and the body is not the truth. You experience the anxiety, you are not the anxiety, and the anxiety is not the truth. . . . You go on eliminating every single experience, every single thing that changes all the time, and on and on and on . . . and a moment comes where there is no identification with the experiences and the things are no more, only the experiencer is left. When you eliminate everything that is not you and the truth, you will have an experience of the experiencer. Now be aware, ‘I am not the experience, I am not the truth.’ That moment you are not, only experiencing is; only truth is. That is your liberation from the mind and its ego. That is the ultimate awareness.
I was teaching meditation to some yoga students and I said, ‘Ignorance hides behind ‘I am’ and decorates itself with knowledge.’
Someone said, ‘We know.’
‘Who are ‘We’? Don’t hide behind others. Why don’t you say, ‘I know’, because that would be more honest? By the way, what do you know? You ‘know’ only words ‘I’ am speaking. Can you see beyond my words? You can’t even see my words, you can’t even feel my words, but ‘my’ words are powerful for your mind, disturbing or maybe flattering your ego. How can you know what I know? Actually ’I’ is your invention. ’I’ is your superimposition on the truth. ’I’ is your pseudo reality. If you are really listening what I am pointing at through the words, your ego will be disturbed and distorted. From your ego, how can you know what I am talking about?”
‘I know myself,’ he said.
‘Who are you?’ I asked.
‘I am being,’ he answered.
‘Really. To know nothing is to know your being. To know yourself without knowing nothing is to be in possession of your ego,’ I replied.
The person stood up and said with an angry voice before leaving the room, ‘This is fucking bullshit.’
Someone else from the yoga group said, ‘You were very unkind to that person.’
‘That is how you see it, but the truth is, I was very compassionate. Kindness is an ego-attitude, and compassion is awareness. Kindness has hidden motives in itself, and compassion is transparent. That is the reason why kindness can never be forgiven. If I were ‘kind’ to that person, he would remain in his ignorance. He would never forgive me for not challenging him enough to see his ignorance. Don’t forget, he wanted to know what meditation is. I was very compassionately pointing to it.’
If you can go beyond the mind into profound silence, then you will find it, not the answer, but something existential, awareness which destroys your ignorance. If all your questions can be in your consciousness without the mind being involved, your ignorance is bound to disappear, and what will remain will be your innocence. With innocence, you are grounded in your heart.
In your innocent heart, you don’t have any questions, and there are no answers, because the mind and its realm of ignorance and arrogance are left behind. You have transcended the mind. You simply are with no “I.” Going beyond the mind you dissolve yourself.
On your journey, you are trying to find the truth, but you find only obstacles to the truth. By dissolving these obstacles, you dissolve in now — because existentially ‘I’ is the obstacle. By being aware of the obstacles you discover the truth.
Pay attention to the mind’s absurdity. The mind asks the question, not because it doesn’t know, but because it knows something. That knowledge comes out of the mind’s so-called knowledge. The mind asks the question, but the mind know an answer.
Whatever the mind knows, it doesn’t really know, or else there would have been no question. Now, because the question has been made with an already known answer, the mind is closed, and it is not ready to receive a new answer.
It is very difficult to understand that you don’t understand. It is very difficult to see yourself as ignorant. It is very difficult to be conscious of your unconsciousness when you have knowledge.
You cannot know the truth, but you can know what is not the truth. You cannot understand silence but the sound of it. Can you understand God? No! You can only understand what God is not.
Buddha says, ‘There is no mind.’ That is the highest teaching. If the mind is not, how can thoughts be, and how can knowledge exist?
Meditate deeper. If the mind and its thoughts are not, how can you witness them? How can you witness something that is not? How can the witness that looks at the mind be real? All that you think and know that you are is not, and all is unreal. Through that understanding, you come to higher understanding that there is nothing to understand. Then, there is the truth.
When you refrain to satisfy the mind’s hunger to know, that doesn’t mean you have destroyed the mind, but that you have higher understanding. Your understanding that you don’t understand will create a situation for the mind to drop itself.
When the mind disappears, your identification with the thoughts will disappear. Without the thoughts you are not attached to things. That doesn’t mean that the things will disappear with disappearance of the mind, but your obsession with things will disappear. Things don’t disappear, but for the first time appear as they are. For the first time you are not attached to things, obsessed about things, and are not seeing things from the knowledge of the mind. You do things, but there is no you who is doing things, because your essence is not a thing. You walk, you eat, you sleep, but you are always aware of no-thing. That is enlightenment.
Never ask because you know something, or you believe in something; otherwise, you will die obsessed with the world, attached to the world.
The person who becomes obsessed with the world will never be able to drop the mind. The obsession with the world is the mind’s obsession with itself. Start loving the world and you will start loving your non-existential mind.
The mind cannot love, so who is loving then? Awareness is love itself. Wholeness is love. Awareness is loving through consciousness. Love is ultimate acceptance. By accepting the mind as it is, you are being conscious of it. In this ultimateness presence of consciousness, in this ultimate acceptance, the mind will drop itself, and only awareness will remain as pure love.
Remember, love is you; it is your essential quality, so all that you need is to give it a way through consciousness, to allow love to happen by being conscious of everything that you are not, allowing consciousness to flow from you, through you, to you, and to be open for all that is and all that isn’t.
Unless you feel that you are ignorant, you are never vulnerable, open, and receptive. Openness is needed; otherwise, your mind will project knowledge and pretend to know and love. If you really know, why ask a question? If you really love, then why is your love not permanent? If you do not know, then be conscious of your ignorance; be open and receptive to attain the answer. If you do not love, then be open for love. Openness is the golden key.
Taoist Master Chuang Tzu and a friend were walking by a river.
“Look at the fish swimming about,” said Chuang Tzu. “They are really enjoying themselves.”
“You are not a fish,” replied the friend, “so you can’t truly know that they are enjoying themselves.”
“You are not me,” said Chuang Tzu, “so how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?”
Unless you are in a meditative state of being, there are bound to be such questions arising in you.
The thinking mind always works hard to find a thinking answer. The mind’s strenuous intellectual effort in search of an answer can lead to a total destruction of the mind, so the mind chooses a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something to save itself.
What is life? What is its meaning? What is the reason for existence? There is no meaning in life itself. But life is not meaningless either, because meaninglessness can’t exist if there is no possibility of it to be meaningful.
The mind is duality, it is not life. Also, life is not duality, but life can exist in duality, and life is not the mind. Is the meaning of life found in philosophical terms, scientific facts, religious principles, beliefs, social concepts and norms, or is the meaning of life meaninglessness?
Life can be lived only if you are ready to dive into the unknown.
Mind is continuously asking for the life meaning, for some life conclusions somewhere, and that’s why it is running and moving all the time. Its basic belief is that everything, all the things, all the movements are, somehow and somewhere, connected by a cause-and-effect chain. That is the mind’s logic. But life is without any meaning and without any logic. Life is moving in the moment. Movement is always moving in the change, and the moment is moving nowhere. The moment now is unchangeable. Awareness is simply now in this moment, expressing itself as consciousness, moving and changing nowhere.
Awareness is eternal, always nowhere, now and here. That awareness is you when you alow the mind to drop itself. Stop the process of thinking and awareness is remembered. The only way to stop your thinking is by witnessing the mind.
The moment you are in witnessing, the continuity of thinking is broken.
One friend came to me. He wanted to know my basic reason for claiming that I don’t know anything about meditation, while at the same time teaching people meditation. He asked, ‘What is your reason? You are a meditation master.’
‘There is none,’ I told him. ‘It is just my attempt to create a doubt in people, so their consistency of belief is broken.’
He was puzzled, ‘Trust in your meditation mastering will do better.’
‘No, trust in my teaching will not create meditation, but witnessing will,’ I said.
In witnessing you have to witness both subjective and objective reality together, in order for meditation to happen. When you are conscious of trust and doubt in yourself at the same time, you are in witnessing, and witnessing will take you beyond the mind.
You see. I cannot teach you the meditation, but the meditation techniques and methods. I cannot teach you the way of the mind, but how to witness the way of the mind. Those things are diametrically opposite. I have to teach you how to trust the unknown, but at the same time, I have to teach you how to doubt the known. When you have the trust and the doubt together in your consciousness, you are beyond the mind as meditation. I am not teaching you the sacred knowledge; I am teaching you how to be in sacredness. Do you see the point?
Look deeply into the word ‘sacred,’ and in most dictionaries you will find this meaning: ‘Related or applicable to a deity, or connected with religion, or to some religious purpose, . . . .’ Look at it deeply, and you will find out that the word ‘sacred’ is based on ego separations.
One Franciscan monk asked me, ‘Do you believe in God?’
‘No,’ I said.
‘Why do you teach the way of God?’ he asked.
‘Where is God?’ I asked.
‘Everywhere,’ he replied.
‘Do you believe in God?’ I asked.
‘Strange question, I am a monk, what do you think?’ he was surprised by my question.
‘I don’t think. I am just reflecting your doubt’ I said.
If God is everywhere, then there is no need to believe that God is everything, then everything is sacred. If God is everywhere and in everything, then nothing can be undivided. Only something that is not God can be divided, and in that case there might be a need to believe. Do you see the point?
Only through distinctions mind exists. When God becomes impossible to attain, it becomes a difficulty, and a challenge for the mind. If God is not, then the mind will not be sustainable. The mind is challenged only by the difficult tasks and goals. God is not impossible. God is only possibility, because it is in you as much as in the flower or the rock. God is holding your hand right now. Are you aware of it?
Once you create a fiction of impossible, then you have to create a whole system of fictions to support it, because for the mind, the possible cannot bear any weight in reality. If you tell one lie, you have to change everything around that lie to support it; otherwise, that original lie will crash in the light of the truth.
People are choosing that which looks positive, bright and lovely, but they don’t know that positive cannot exist without negative. Negative is the background, absolutely necessary for positive to shine. Positive and negative together make one whole.
Someone try to get me into, ‘What would you do if you win the lottery?’ What to say to that daydreaming, to that positive attitude?
The impossible thing for the mind is to remain balanced, grounded in the middle, not to move from one opposite to the other opposite. You see, the nature of the mind is to move from positive to negative and vice versa.
When I say ‘time is an illusion,’ it is not a philosophical statement, it is just an indication of something fundamental in you, it is just a reminder of an obvious fact that the present moment is all you ever have.
If you look at the time as the collective manifestation, it is a mental disorder; a psychological disease. For example, all the world ideologies like, capitalism, communism, fascism…, all operating under the implicit assumption that the positive, in whatever form – peace, happiness, equality, liberation, and so on, lies in the mind-projected future and that therefore the end justifies the means. World ideologies are enslaving people, torturing them, murdering them in the present in order to obtain that positive projection in the future.
The mind obsession with the positive creates the future as an escape from the present moment.
Be aware. The positive thinking on its own means being in deception, being dishonest and untruthful to yourself and to others. In positive thinking you see what you believe and desire to see, while denying what you have just seen, refusing the actual happening in this moment of now. The same is true to the negative thinking as well. You see, miserable people don’t need preachers to preach them how to be more miserable, they need someone who will teach them to go to the other opposite. People who believe in positive philosophy are miserable people. Those people are easily controllable and are able to be exploited. Have you noticed a trend in the world with so many miserable people claiming to be a motivational speakers, teaching others to be happy. How can you give others the whole when you are lost in parts?
Let’s say that you have a belief that is hostile to an experience which is happening right now. You have a particular belief that says, ‘I believe that is not possible’, or ‘I believe that I will win the lottery,’ what will be your choice then? What are you going to choose — the belief or the happening experience? Your mind will choose the belief, the fiction. ‘I believe that is not possible’ is your disbelieves in actual experience, ‘I believe that I will win the lottery’ is your escape from the present moment.
Every positive belief end up being a negative belief. Belief is positive thinking and disbelief is negative thinking. In the mind, the division between positive and negative is happening all the time. So, the anxiety is created because of the mind dividing, and hope for the future is a cover-up for anxiety.
There are organized religions which are based on a belief in God, and there are organized religions which are not, so this implies that, God is not a necessity for religion. For example, Christianity, Judaism and Islam are based on a belief in God, while Buddhism and Jainism are not.
Just contemplate this. The world so-called religions are all products of the intellect, thinking about existence, logically reasoning about God, creation, salvation, truth, this or that. Each religion has developed its own theology, its own logic about God. Theology is an oxymoron in terms. The word Theo is derived from the Greek word Theos, which means God and logy means logic – logic about God, thinking about God.
The religious Theo-logic appeals to the belief of people because people are generally unconscious, they are being used by the mind. You see, God is not a logical idea, a statement of opinion or judgment. The mind cannot prove that God does exist, or that God doesn’t exist. You cannot think about God. If there is logic there is no God. Mind and God cannot be together.
Buddha and Mahavira did not believe in God, and they were completely fulfilled being with a fragrance of godliness. Their life was divine as life can be. Buddha did not believe in God, but he did discover that everybody can become a god. To be a God is nothing but the re-attainment of your own inner potential. For a Buddha, there is no beginning, and there is no end to life. Life is not a question and has no question marks. Life is now, as an open mystery. It is more like an open invitation. You have to be conscious to move into it. It is not a riddle to be solved, because it comes from your intelligent participation; not an ideological theory, blind belief, or intellectual exercise. You can live it, feel it, be it, but you cannot reduce it to knowledge, belief, or a theory. You cannot choose God, you can only be God.
No ideology can help find the real self or create anything new in this world, because ideological orientation itself is the main cause of all the anxieties and miseries in yourself and this world. Intellect is the mind exercising its freedom through ideology in order to control your consciousness. Thoughts create divisions and prejudices, so thoughts themselves can’t overcome them.
The mind is the conflict. How can conflict create peace? How can non-existence help you find existence?
I was talking to my friend about nonexistence of God, when someone who was standing behind me said, ‘How do you know that there is no God?’
‘Are you questioning me or your belief?’ I said
‘I don’t understand,’ he said.
‘Not understanding is the real way towards your liberation,’ I replied.
No thought, concept or any mental impression is sufficient enough to contain your consciousness. All beliefs, ideas and concepts disable and paralyze your consciousness.
Don’t define yourself; just be conscious that you are. To be conscious is to be really religious. There is no need for any other religion in the world, just be conscious that you are. Real religion is not about believing in God, soul, heaven, or this or that; it is knowing that which is eternal within you, divine, and the truth of your own existence.
One person said to me, ‘My whole life I used to believe in God, but now I don’t.’
I asked him, ‘What made you change your belief?’
‘Cancer,’ he said. “
‘But the cancer is also God’s creation,’ I replied.
Belief exists in ideologies, doctrines, theologies, philosophies, ideas, and outside of you. Life is consciousness; without it you don’t live.
Everybody has been conditioned to believe in something. Belief has entered into our bones and our blood; it has become an essential part of our life. All beliefs are adopted. How can something you borrowed lead you towards finding who you are?
Situated directly below belief is disbelief. You believe, pray to God, sacrifice your life to God, and your beloved dies; disbelief arises.
Death can destroy any belief, because it is only a thought; it is not worth much.
God is a fiction, a lie created by the fictional, lying mind. All the religions are telling people to be honest, to be truthful, but they are teaching lies. Who is a hypocrite here? You know nothing about God, but you still believe in God and teach God’s words. You follow ancient knowledge, the Holy Scriptures, the principles of life preached for thousands of years, but you know nothing about life. The ancient knowledge seems more reliable than your own consciousness. Religions are telling you, ‘Listen to the authority of God,’ but your own consciousness is your own authority, far more truthful than any other gods.
Believing in lies and living according to the principles of those lies makes one guilty. With the guilt you cannot rejoice in existence, you can only destroy it.
All the religions have been and still are against consciousness. Organized religions are the greatest obstacle to freedom. Believers in God are enslaved, oppressed, and exploited. People are forced to be unnatural. The greatest crime against existence is to force someone to feel guilty for his being. Religions are against everything that can make you a whole person.
Meditate on the word ‘Renunciation.’ The moment you start renouncing life, you are committing a crime against your being. You start forgetting consciousness, love, and your own truth; you start destroying the existence by torturing yourself. If you are destroying the existence, how can you live and love?
Real religion is not a social phenomenon, has nothing to do with collectivity, but is an individual matter, a matter of consciousness.
Meditate on this. Belief fundamentally means that you are in doubt; with a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction, and you cover that wound with belief. By covering a painful wound with a dream, it does not heal; it becomes more dangerous, and poisonous. We believe, because deep inside of us there is doubt, and doubt comes from the desiring mind. Believing in heaven, you desire heaven. Believing in love, you desire love. Believing in yourself, you desire to be yourself. The desiring mind is the very root of the problem.
Do you believe in heaven or hell? You desire heaven and are in fear of hell, and in a way you desire hell. Now, there is a great lust for life; you don’t want to die, and you aren’t sure where you will go. You don’t want to die; you fear death. But don’t worry, just go to your local church, and any priest will tell you, ‘Don’t be worried, your soul will live forever, just believe in God.’ Now, you are relieved for a while. The question is, how does the priest know? On whose authority is he so confident to speak — on the authority of the Bible, or his own consciousness?
At one of my meditation discourses I said, ‘Priests of religious institutions are the most fearful and irreligious people in the world.’
Someone from the audience got really offended by my statement, and shouted, ‘By what authority do you claim that?’
‘By the authority of consciousness,’ I said.
‘That’s not high enough,’ he shouted back.
‘What authority is higher than consciousness?’ I asked the man.
‘God!’ he replied.
I said, ‘On what authority are you claiming that? On the authority of your mind?’
Do you see the point? Who is higher than the mind? The mind will answer, God! Be aware of this double game. God is a mind-created thought, and now mind believes in God.
Where there is no-mind, real God is. No-mind is your reality, your nature, your truth. God is only a mind belief; no-mind is an existential experience.
You see, I am my own authority. I am here not to follow anybody, actually I am not, only awareness is. My life is nobody’s life, and my being is my authority for everything I do in my life.
You can only laugh at this, because it is total authoritarianism. Just recently China banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission.
I am reminded of a statement by Bishop Eusebius who lived around 300 AD, ‘It is an act of virtue to deceive and lie, when by such means the interest of the church might be promoted.’
Pope Leo X said, ‘How well we know what a profitable superstition this fable of Christ has been for us.’
We live in an authoritarian society. Political systems, social institutions, religious institutions, and educational systems enforce strict obedience to authority at the expense of individual freedom and consciousness. Authority is saying, ‘Whatever we say is right. Our lie is the truth for you. You have to be obedient and you need not question anything.’ Religious power is linked with political power plus economic power and makes for what is called totalitarianism in authoritarian society. Totalitarianism is another name for fascism. Capitalism has a double power; the power of politics and all the power of economics is totalitarian.
Totality is different than totalitarianism. Totality is simply a vision of seeing life from consciousness, and totalitarianism colors life from the concepts of the mind.
The mind’s ego is totalitarian, and dictatorial. It does not want you to be conscious of its fascistic authoritarianism. Try to rebel and see what will happen. The mind will immediately destroy any possibility of you becoming free of it.
The mind constantly controls you by keeping you occupied and engaged in baloney, so that you never become aware of your submission to a dominating authoritarian slave master. The mind is a very cunning master. It convinces you through its ego that ‘I am you.’ When the mind starts using you completely in a totalitarian, fascistic way, we call it madness.
The whole humanity lives under deep mind hypnosis. The madness of humanity becomes the normal state of being. That’s the reason for not detecting it unless somebody goes abnormally insane.
Authoritarianism is connected with society, but authority is concerned with consciousness, freedom and individual realization. Totalitarianism is connected with the mind; totality is concerned with your freedom. If I trust who I am, I am in a relation within myself, with my conscious authority, and I am complete as I am. I am my total authority. I am consciousness, and my consciousness is my power, but that power doesn’t give me any authority over anyone else, only the authority, the power to be conscious in my totality. To have authority over someone else is to feel powerless, and that is unconscious authoritarianism that creates totalitarianism, i.e., fascism, communism, capitalism . . .
Each individual is consciousness, capable of having authority over his own consciousness. From my authority, I simply open my heart to you, if you are aware to receive it. If not, I am perfectly all right with it, because I am conscious of your consciousness in you and that fully satisfies me. Your consciousness might be sleeping at the moment, and that is all right with me. I am simply conscious of the conscious potential in you to wake up to this moment. I recognize you and your conscious authority. That is the real authority, not an authoritarian mind attitude.
Your authority is neutral, while authoritarianism is linked to belief; hence, it creates slavery, obedience, and conflict, not freedom, respect, love, and truth.
Doubt is closely connected with belief, you doubt; hence, you need belief. Belief is nothing, but a method of repressing doubt. When you repress negativity, you become positive. But positivity cannot exist without negativity. Light will not be able to shine without a field of infinite darkness.
If you drop belief, repressed doubt will arise. Don’t be worried about it; let it come. Darkness is the inevitable beginning before the sunrise. You cannot come to real without dropping beliefs; revealing your doubts and going through it.
Believing in light will not give you light. You can deceive yourself by believing in light, and you can desire light so much that you sacrifice your life for it. You can pretend that there is no darkness, but deep down you know that you are dreaming; you know that you are afraid of your doubts.
Don’t believe because others believe. That doesn’t mean to disbelieve. Just remain neutral, agnostic with a noncommittal attitude. Don’t commit yourself to any part of duality, and don’t say yes or no until you come to your knowingness. Can you say to yourself, ‘I don’t know myself, I don’t know God, I don’t know Christ, I don’t know heaven, I know nothing; and because I don’t know, I cannot believe? I want to have knowingness about who I am before I start believing in anything. Unless I am in knowingness, I will not believe.’ But once you are in knowingness of who you are, you will not be able to believe in God, and you will have knowingness of what God is. Only this kind of attitude will create a situation for you to grow. That is the only authority which you can have; the authority of consciousness.
In the authority of consciousness, the witnessing will take you to your ultimate awareness