EMOTION
QUESTION: I am aggressive because I am scared to lose my control. How do I heal my aggression?
Those who are afraid to lose control, are those who are in fear of death. That primal fear automatically creates a fear of life, a fear of sleep, a fear of love, and a fear of your original, meditative, conscious self.
To love means to die to your ego. Love is like death, you die in it. People are not able to love because of the fear of death, so people fantasize about love, they project love, they talk about love, they act lovingly, but they never fall in love. To fall in love is to declare your defeat, to drop your mind, your personality, your possessiveness. It is to surrender, to renounce, to dissolve all that is not you, and that is not yours, into nothingness. Only love through witnessing can dissolve the mind and all its thoughts, attachments, patterns, and addictions, thereby transforming the power of unconsciousness into the power of consciousness.
Aggression means control, to remain in your wounded ego. It means lack of love for Oneself, and consequently for others. It means psychological immaturity, emotional incompetence, spiritual irresponsibility and disrespect of yourself and of others. In short, it means self-centeredness, self-possessiveness and selfishness - all aspects of the ego-self.
Selfishness is not the feeling of love, it actually means not having love at all. Selfishness is nothing but your unawareness of your real self. Be conscious of the one who is conscious and you are immediately in a selfless state of Awareness. You disappear as a drop of water, and you appear as the whole ocean. In selflessness there is no aggression, only liberation. Meditate. In meditation you will recognize that real self, that self which is not the ego, but is awareness.
Aggression is a war against love. Aggression is not only present in physical war, when you destroy, rape, or kill. It is so subtle, so delicate, so sensitive. The war is in your inner world, in your thinking, in your emotions, in your gestures, and in your behaviours towards yourself and others. It is in your energy, in your smell, in your touch, in your look. You are looking, and your look is not a loving and compassionate look, it is a violent look. The whole of existence is looking at you, feeling you, being with you and knowing you. There is no hiding.
Love is so simple and so easy; you just have to surrender to it. But the paradox is that that which is the easiest is also the most difficult. For the ego, the difficult is not really difficult, because through the difficult, the ego is enhanced. When you conquer difficulty, your ego feels good. We all want change, but when change becomes a challenge, the the ego becomes more aggressive, meaning aggression is the ego’s sustenance.
‘I am aggressive because I am scared to lose control.’
I am happy for this great insight, but no, you are not losing control, you are in absolute control, brother. You are in your ego and your ego cannot afford to lose control, otherwise the ego will lose itself. Ego cannot afford that, so don’t worry, all is good. You, the real you is always in real control, and that control is beyond your mind, your ego, your thoughts, your emotions, your body, it is even beyond your soul. It is the presence of something essential, something divine, something sacred, right here and now. It is your humble witnessing consciousness, your vulnerability, your love for everything that is and everything that isn’t.
From witnessing consciousness, humility grows, releasing innocence from the mind’s imprisonment. Humility is the door, because it drops everything that creates distortion and impurity, therefore, no aggression. In a humble person you will not be able to find any ego, no aggression, only forgiveness and generosity.
The witnessing consciousness is what Now means, and Now is always in control.
Meditate, witness and do nothing. Witness that aggressive, wounded, angry child inside. Listen to his story, open your heart and feel his pain. Just be present, absolutely naked with your consciousness. Open your heart and do nothing. In Zen doing nothing means not thinking, just being a conscious witness, being attentively present and open to receive the gift, right Now, where love and gratitude for life freely flows.
Be grateful for everything that you are, for everything in your reality, for everything you did or you did not do, everything that happened or did not happen.
Thank you, my past. Thank you, me, whatsoever that me is. Only the real and natural you, offering yourself vulnerability, will cause the divine change that we usually refer to as the magic. Thank You for all the experiences that led me to this point of Now. You are who you are right Now, so accept that fact and move on by surrendering your mind to Now. How do you do that? Life is yours. Life is in your control, consciously or unconsciously. Life is You eternally right Now. Relax, meditate, listen, be attentive to the moment and witness. To control life consciously is to allow life to flow in any direction it wants, and you, conscious you, taking the ride.
To be in awareness is to be in control. What is there to control? Nothing! That is the way to drop your aggressive ego.
Ivan Rados, Transcripts - A collection of Spontaneous Discourses on The Middle Point, Tantra, Yoga, Yantra, Mantra, Zen..., to disciples and friends in Port Coquitlam, Toronto, Vancouver, and Los Angeles.