ANGER
QUESTION: I had so many realizations in my meditation about my anger but still I am angry. What do I do?
You might have promised yourself that you would relate to yourself and to others from a space of respect, acceptance, compassion, and love, not from your reactive wounded self that is attached to a shameful and painful past. You promised yourself countless times that you would be kind, opens and receptive, more inclusive, not judgemental and stubborn. You promised that you would change, and you failed. You promised yourself that you would be more conscious, and you failed with anger. But in actuality, you failed because of fear. You fear because you are not being your authentic self, and not trusting the real you. Now you are angry. Now in anger you are not responsible, you hold others responsible for your well being.
Anger is always destructive. Anger is the masculine aspect of fear; and fear is the feminine aspect of anger. Fear is only in the mind, therefore anger is only in the mind.
Anger is the constant inner fight below your conscious attention, building constant pressure, adding more fuel on the negative side of your mind, just waiting for the right moment to explode, usually on something close to you.
If you have to, vomit, go to the washroom, go to the woods, purge, shit, scream…, but don't throw it on anybody else.
Anger is just a mental purge. You have taken in something that’s rotten, stale, borrowed, something that’s not serving you in any way and your whole psyche wants to throw it out, wants to cleanse itself. Fine, throw it out, but there is no need to throw it out on anybody else. If you do that, you will be trapped in causes and consequences, where duality and karma rules. Get out of your mind. Use the mind, use the anger creatively, but do not be used by it, do not throw it on anyone.
It’s good to be angry sometimes, at the very least it makes energy move, but try to find ways to transform that energy. Be a creator, not a victim.
Ivan Rados, Transcripts - A collection of Spontaneous Discourses on The Middle Point, Tantra, Yoga, Yantra, Mantra, Zen..., to disciples and friends in Port Coquitlam, Toronto, Vancouver, and Los Angeles.